Reasons They Abused and Why the Abused Endure Through it.

Reasons they abuse
Given by the WAO research (Abdul Ghani, 2005), the reasons the men abused the women are due to jealousy (23), suspicion (8), financial problem (23), alcohol (17), drug (5), gambling (4), extra marital affairs (8), work related stress (18), child related problems (11), in-laws interference (13), sexual (5), for no reason (19) and lastly others (11).

From our primary research conducted via open-ended intensive interviews with 6 respondents we identified that psychological abuse outbursts were due to lack of understanding about womanhood by men. Men, generally perceived women with traditional mindsets and have standard expectations for women to serve and remain complacent to the male’s demands for example, women are expected to cook, to take care of the family and in general, comments received from the focus group interview conducted by the event crew members suggested that men want women to stay at home.

Men in general, due to commercialism and power of media, are unaware that certain expectations on women’s physique and outlook can be a form of abuse. Comments such as wanting their female partners to be sexy and to be beautiful can lead to their partner’s lost of self esteem and emotional well-being. Still, most of the men interviewed were unaware of this fact.

Also, men, from the interview are identified as a race who has been socialised to think that female partners belong to them (objects of ownership) when in a relationship. This power-relation play is another reason why some men control every aspect “their women” while not realizing that the act of owning a woman is a form of abuse. Men’s general knowledge in women and their roles in the society has indeed depreciated or perhaps had been missing for a very long time that surprisingly, after numerous campaigns raising awareness for women, men still use the line “if you love me, make love with me” and “you don’t make love to me means you don’t love me”.

Hence, we believe that the need for control, lack of understanding, poor gender socialization within the society and media influence are the reasons, though not exclusive, to abuse and violence against women. The organizer plans to overcome the abovementioned ignorance through the campaign via educational talks, workshops and exhibitions by subject matter experts.
Reasons the abused endure
According to the same WAO research (Abdul Ghani, 2005), among the reasons why women endured the violence perpetrated by their beloved are as the following:
• they wanted to give their husbands another chance,
• worried about the children’s schooling,
• financial reasons,
• husband agreed to change lifestyle,
• under threat from husband,
• illness in family,
…amongst the few.

Women’s natural instinct for caring, forgiving and compromising are their best traits yet the downfall of the gender. Despite the abuses and violence experienced, most abused women were reported to continuously decide to go back to the family for their children, to give their husbands another chance, because of an illness in the family and she returns to the arms of the abuser knowing that she might be abused again.

Apart from the above reasons, many women are unaware of the different forms abuse can occur, hence, continuously live in a world of abuse because it is the norm.

We believe that women need to have a voice, stand up for their rights and be strengthened by her natural instincts. The organizer plans to create awareness and educated women regarding their rights and their roles in the society, especially in their own homes in hope that the abuse will end.